Dear Single Woman
Over the past month, I’ve heard the same message from three different sources. Some would call this a coincidence. However, I believe that this message, addressed to singles, was intended for me to hear repeatedly; because it is one that God really wants me to grasp and apply during this season of my life. I also believe that God shared it with me not only for my own personal benefit, but so that I could share it with you, my fellow single sister reading this blog post. As you continue reading, my prayer is that God gives you a fresh perspective on singleness (just as He did for me) and you begin to revel in this season of your life!
A common theme throughout the messages that I heard was this idea of productivity. After hearing each message, I was left feeling that I had a responsibility and that this season of my life isn’t meant to be wasted giving my energy and attention to the wrong priorities. God revealed to me that though this is a season to enjoy, it is also one that He has called me to be a productive steward of, living in full devotion to Him, wholeheartedly pursuing my purpose, and serving others.
I believe that this is God’s desire for every single person as illustrated by the following passage written by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35:
“32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”
Although marriage is also gift from God, in this particular passage, the unmarried man and woman appear to have the advantage. These individuals don’t have the added responsibility of caring for their spouses nor the other responsibilities that come with marriage (or having a family). The single individual has the privilege of spending this season of his or her life fully engulfed in the things of God.
What a privilege! As single women we get to live this season of our lives with undistracted devotion to God. We don’t have to divide our time between Him, our spouses, and our children. We get to give God our all and spend as much time as we want with Him during this season. However, in order to take full advantage of the extra time we have, we must shift our focus from that of a man to God. In other words, our number one priority during this season should be developing a personal relationship with God, growing in our knowledge of Him, and living a life that is honorable and pleasing to Him.
Unfortunately, so many of us have forsaken intimacy with God for that of a man, and our longing for a man has become greater than our longing for God himself. I was once that woman, but at the feet of Jesus I found peace and joy. In addition to gaining contentment, I also experienced what it means to become whole and complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10). As a result of diligently seeking God’s face and spending time in His presence, I’ve seen Him fill the deepest longings of my heart and remove those unhealthy longings for a man. My greatest desire now is to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ, trusting that in due season He will present me to the man that I was predestined to marry.
In addition to developing an intimate relationship with Christ and becoming whole, God desires to prune and develop us during this season. God not only uses this season to prepare us for our callings, He also uses this season to prepare us for marriage. Often times as women, we get so caught up on finding the right man (which isn’t our role as shown in Proverbs 18:22) that we neglect becoming the right woman. While it is important to have standards, I think it is equally important to develop the qualities that would attract the type of man we desire to marry. So during this season, we must allow God to cultivate our hearts and teach us what it means to be virtuous, to submit, to serve, and to love unconditionally.
As well as living a life of undistracted devotion to God, we are called to walk in purpose and serve during this season of our lives. Ephesians 2:10 tells us that, “we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” This scripture shows us that when God created us, He had purpose in mind; and because of this, our lives have meaning and value before we even get married. It is imperative that we grasp this revelation and take full advantage of this time in our lives to pursue purpose wholeheartedly.
I know, I know…some of you may be thinking, “I don’t even know what my purpose is in order to walk in it.” If you are one of those individuals, it’s ok. What I would encourage you to do is earnestly seek God about your purpose and wait patiently until He reveals it to you. While I encourage you to wait patiently upon the Lord, not having full revelation of one’s purpose is not an excuse to remain idle during this season. Let me ask you this, “Is there something that God has instructed you to do that you’ve put off? Are there opportunities to serve at your church or in your local community? Has God revealed to you how you can meet the need(s) of someone you know?” If you answered yes to any of these questions, I encourage you to obey the instructions you’ve been given and to begin serving. Let’s follow the example Christ set for us in Mark 10:45!
In addition to the things above, God desires us to fully embrace and enjoy this season of singleness. While I don’t typically advocate selfishness, I do believe that this is our time to “live selfishly!” This is the time of our lives when we can put ourselves first and take advantage of opportunities without having to consider others. I’m not sure what fully embracing and enjoying this season looks like for you, but I’ve vowed to pursue a personal goal, be more spontaneous, and travel more while I’m single.
I would encourage you, as God leads you, to consider doing some of the following during this season of your life: go back to school, take risks, pursue a goal or dream, travel the world, move to a different state, treat yourself regularly, study abroad, start a business, take advantage of a new job opportunity, go on a missions trip, take yourself on dates, or whatever else would bring you joy and fulfillment!
So fellow single woman, let’s make up in our minds today that we will no longer allow the enemy to rob us of our joy by comparing ourselves to those who are dating, engaged, or married nor allow him to deceive us into missing out on all that God has for us in this season. Let’s vow to cherish this season of our lives by making the most of it, so that when we do get married we won’t regret wasting our time as singles.
With love,
Imanne