The Pursuit of Wholeness
Towards the end of each year, many of us make a list of new year’s resolutions that we set out to accomplish in the year ahead. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve found that after a few months into the year, I tend to lose momentum and slip back into old patterns. So this past year, I decided to change my approach and be more intentional. Instead of making a list of goals and resolutions, I chose one word to set my intentions for the new year. The word I selected was “becoming” with the intention of evolving into a healthier version of myself – mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
Often times, it takes me a while to ponder and make a decision. However, this word came to me immediately, and I thought to myself, “This is it!” I didn’t feel the need to come up with a list of other words to consider as “becoming” instantly resonated with me. To me, it represented this idea of transition, growth and maturity. It also shifted my focus to “being” versus “doing.” After selecting the word “becoming,” I wrote down some statements that aligned to the areas of my life in which I desired to evolve. A few examples of these statements are listed below:
“I am becoming more of who God says I am.”
“I am becoming more disciplined.”
“I am becoming more confident.”
“I am becoming more patient.”
“I am becoming whole.”
In addition to these statements, I identified practical steps that would help me cultivate the healthier version of myself I desired to become. For example, some practical steps I listed in order to support my journey of becoming whole was to 1) read “Wholeness” by Toure Roberts, 2) re-read “Uninvited” by Lysa TerKeurst, and 3) begin therapy. I recently finished reading “Wholeness” and my goodness! This book spoke the very words that I needed to hear in this season of my life, and I wanted to share some of my takeaways with you.
In the first part of the book, Toure Roberts addresses some things we tell ourselves that keep us from experiencing wholeness in our lives. These statements (or beliefs) include:
“I thought I was whole already.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“I’m okay.”
The first statement listed above is something I once believed about myself. Within the past year, however, I’ve come to the realization (through self-reflection and self-awareness) that my inner self needs some more healing and nurturing. Chapter 1: “I Thought I Was Whole Already” helped me draw the connection between my inner life and outer life. In other words, what I came to better understand is that much of what I experience in life is a direct manifestation of what’s occurring internally. After reading this chapter, I thought to myself, “Man, maybe the reason I feel stuck in certain areas of my life or I haven’t been living up to my fullest potential is because there are some unaddressed issues in my life.” This chapter inspired me to continue the practice of self-reflection and to seek feedback from others as well. It also made me even more committed to start my therapy sessions in order to help me trace unhealthy patterns, habits, insecurities and mindsets back to the source and unearth any deeper rooted issues that may be present.
After reading part one of the book, I was eager to dive into part two – “The Truth Shall Set You Free.” Y’all, things got real in this section of the book. One particular statement in Chapter 4: “Meet Brokenness” seemed to lift off of the pages and hit me like a ton of bricks. It read,
“Just because a few areas of our lives may appear to be working well does not mean our lives are well. We have to pay close attention to our inner lives, or our brokenness will elude us.”
Brokenness comes in many forms and looks different for everyone. There are also some forms of brokenness that we inherit or experience and are outside of our control. But no matter if our personal choices have led us down the path of brokenness or something or someone else caused it, we have the power to overcome it. The first step to doing so is acknowledging that we are broken. I learned in this chapter that humility and vulnerability are essential to experiencing wholeness.
After reading the chapters in part two of this book, I became aware that I was broken. I came to this realization specifically after reading the following statement found in Chapter 5: “The Cracked Mirror.”
“When a person is broken, their perceptions are skewed and distorted.”
This resonated with me, because over the years I’ve noticed that my perceptions about myself and others have become more and more distorted. Below is an excerpt from the book to help better illustrate this point:
“Each of us has what I call an inner mirror. The inner mirror helps us to interpret and understand what we see in our world, which then determines how we engage the people we relate to and the circumstances we live in. When that mirror is clear and healthy, it reflects accurate images of self, others, and the world around us, and those images enable us to respond in healthy and productive ways. However, when that mirror is distorted, we live with limitations and flawed expectations, which then attract and produce unhealthy outcomes.”
This profound insight prompted me to identify the source of my brokenness. I asked myself, “What experiences have shaped my view of the world, myself, and others?” After spending some time reflecting on this question, I was able to trace some of my brokenness back to some of my childhood experiences. Isn’t it crazy how past experiences, things that happened years maybe even decades ago, can wreak havoc in our present lives?! But the real truth is, that’s only if we let them. While some of the things I experienced throughout my childhood were outside of my control, I’ve come to the realization that yes, these things happened to me, but I don’t have to let them define me. I have the power to overcome these experiences by practicing humility, embracing healing and committing to the journey of becoming whole. The remainder of part two was jammed packed with wisdom and insightful truths, and I’d strongly encourage you to read this book for yourself, if anything that I’ve shared up to this point resonates with you.
In the final section of the book, “The Journey Continues,” Toure Roberts illustrates the process of becoming whole, discusses the theology of wholeness, and shares tips for testing and continuously examining wholeness throughout our lives. My biggest takeaways from this part of the book were 1) I cannot experience wholeness apart from God and 2) I have an identity in God that is whole already. This whole version of myself is the true version of me, the person God envisioned before I was even born. And the only way I become more aware of my true self and identity in God is by having an intimate relationship with Him and spending quality time in His presence. You also have an identity in God that is whole already, and I encourage you to read Psalm 139, especially verses 13 through 16, to get a glimpse of how intentional God was when He created you and how special you are to Him 🙂
If you feel like your past, unaddressed issues, insecurities or unhealthy patterns are preventing you from experiencing wholeness (i.e. the highest, healthiest version of yourself) and reaching your fullest potential in life, I’d highly recommend this book. If you’ve previously read this book, I’d love to hear how this book has impacted your life. Please share your comments below!
Imanne