There is Freedom in Your No

Do you have a hard time telling others “no?” Up until about three years ago, I found it extremely difficult to tell others no. As a result, I found myself doing things I wasn’t genuinely interested in, I found myself stressed out by over committing myself, and ultimately I found myself unhappy. The more and more I responded to a request with “yes,” I found that in essence I was saying “no” to the things and people who truly make me happy.

My fear of saying no was rooted in the fact that I’m a recovering people pleaser. I was concerned about what people would think of me or what relationship I would loose if I responded with a no. Aware that this was an issue and something I needed to master before graduating and stepping out into the real world, my mom gave me a book to read by Joyce Meyer entitled, Approval Addiction: Overcoming Your Need to Please Everyone. There was freedom found in every page of that book.

If you struggle with saying no, I encourage you to pinpoint the root cause so that you can begin living your life for yourself and not for others. After reading Joyce Meyer’s book, I began the practice of saying no. At first I felt guilty for saying it and always felt the need to explain myself. But by the end of my sophomore year, I’d come to realize that no was not a bad word and that there was actually freedom in saying no.

For example, by saying no to people who constantly asked me to do things with no reciprocity, I realized that I wasn’t being mean; but instead I was actually taking a stand against being taken advantage of and empowering that person to come up with an alternative solution. By saying no to managers who constantly asked me to work outside of my scheduled hours or availability, I found that business would continue and they would simply find someone else to cover the shift. Ultimately, by saying no I was actually saying yes to rest, my family, and the things that I desired to do with my time.

By no means am I suggesting that “no” is the default answer to every request. However, if you find yourself in bondage, unhappy, stressed, or stretched thin because you struggle with saying no, I challenge you to pinpoint the reason why and begin the practice of saying no. I also encourage you to pray before making certain decisions, if you have the opportunity; because God will guide you and tell you how to properly respond. Make up in your mind today that you will no longer say no to yourself, your family, the things that make you happy, and the things you’ve prioritized by saying yes to others. Most importantly, however, make sure that by saying yes to others you’re not saying no to God.

Blessings,

Imanne

Meditation Scriptures:

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10