Will You Be Mine?
With Valentine’s Day just one week away, I felt led to write some words of encouragement for my single ladies.
For some of you Valentine’s Day is exciting, because it’s a day you intentionally set out to do something special for yourself whether it be buying yourself flowers, pampering yourself, or treating yourself to a nice dinner. It may even be a day you look forward to spending with your closest girlfriends. I realize, however, that for a lot of single ladies this day can trigger feelings of sadness, discontentment, and loneliness.
If you fall into the latter group, my prayer is that by the time you finish reading this blog you will have a sense of peace about being single and view this season of your life as a precious gift.
I know some of you may be thinking, “A gift? Please tell me how my singleness is a gift? If anything I feel like I’m being punished. Everyone around me is in dating, engaged, or married. Why can’t that be me?”
Well my friend, the first mistake you’re making is that you’re comparing your life to those around you. I know it may sound cliche, but there is so much truth in Theodore Roosevelt’s quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Have you ever stopped to think that your feelings of discontentment about being single stem from the simple fact that you are comparing yourself to others who are in relationships? I truly believe that comparison robs so many of us of our joy, and it’s not limited to relationships. As women, it seems the greatest source of our insecurities and unhappiness come from the fact that we compare the way we look and the things we have to the women around us or those we follow on social media outlets, see on TV or in magazines.
In addition to comparison, many single women have this misconception that a man will make them feel complete. Unfortunately, being in a relationship will not take away your feelings of insecurity nor will it make you feel happy or fulfilled. The truth of the matter is that a mere man does not have this power, because true joy and completion is found in Christ alone (Colossians 2:10). Read this excerpt from The New Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall…
“Incompleteness is not the result of being single, but of not being full of Jesus. Only in the process of reckless abandonment [total surrender and devotion] to Jesus does any woman ever finally understand that, in Him, she is complete. When two “incomplete” singles get married, their union will not make them complete. Their marriage will be simply two “incomplete” people trying to find completeness in one another. Only when they understand that their fullness is found in a relationship with Jesus will they ever begin to complement one another. They can never complete one another. You were not created to complete one another, but to complement.”
So single lady, guess what? You don’t have to spend this Valentine’s Day alone, because God (the ultimate source of love) is asking, “My child, will you be mine?” I pray that your response will be yes and not just for Valentine’s Day but for the rest of your life. I encourage you to use this season of your life to seek out an intimate relationship with Christ. Allow Him to make you whole, allow Him to reveal your identity in Him, allow Him to fill your voids, allow Him to meet your needs, and allow Him to be your source of joy. Stop looking to a man to be to you what only God can be, and use this season to focus on Christ and give Him your all.
“I would like you to be free from concern…an unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord’s affairs; Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world — how she can please her husband. I am saying this to you for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
Also pray that God will reveal your purpose to you during this season, so that you can begin walking in it. Last month I prayed diligently, “God, please reveal to me my purpose in you if this is the right time. If not, show me what to put my hands to during this season so that I can make the best use of my time.” And He did just that! Realize that if your thoughts are constantly consumed with being single, perhaps you aren’t busy enough pursuing the things of God, your dreams, or indulging in the things that make you happy.
So use this beautiful season of your life as a single to learn more about yourself, to grow as a person, to travel the world, to pursue your dreams, and most importantly to grow closer to God and pursue your purpose in Him! And trust that in due season, God will unite you with the man you were purposed to be with. In the meantime, don’t settle and live your life in full devotion to Christ.
With love,
Imanne
Suggested Reads: The book of Ruth in the Bible and the book referenced above.