My Silent Struggles with Social Media
Around this time last month, I found myself experiencing a wide range of negative emotions, and I couldn’t pinpoint the reason why. The feelings I felt didn’t make sense given that I was home with my family for the holidays — something that brings me so much joy. After a couple of days of grappling with these feelings, I went before God in hopes that He would help me solve this mystery. In my time of prayer, God immediately revealed to me that the source of my negative emotions was social media.
After providing this revelation, He instructed me to log off. This isn’t the first time I’ve been led to abstain from social media for an extended period of time, so I didn’t have difficulty heeding the instruction. However, this was the first time God didn’t provide the specifics of when I’d be able to log back on. He simply told me to log off and gave me permission to access it only when I was notifying others of a new blog post or book review. Despite the ambiguity of this command, I know God well enough to know that there was purpose behind it. Shortly after, I discovered that this instruction and, most importantly, my obedience would be the catalyst to my journey of healing — which I’ll speak to later in the post.
Soon after giving the instruction, God began showing me how social media had become a stumbling block in my life. I didn’t realize it, but social media had become a major source of discontent. While I would consider myself a fairly confident, content person, time and time again, I’ve fallen into the trap of comparing myself to others on social media. After coming to this realization, I knew that part of the reason God instructed me to log off was 1) to guard my heart [Proverbs 4:23] from this feeling of discontent and 2) to help me overcome the habit of comparing myself to others so that it would not lead to feelings of jealousy and resentment.
The next thing God revealed to me is that I have been seeking validation from others through social media. I had a hard time accepting this, but it was true. While this hasn’t always been my experience, more often than not, I’ve found myself basing my value as a person on the number of likes I receive on a post, the number of followers I have on Instagram, or people’s general response to my posts via comments. Awareness and acceptance of this truth was and has been very difficult. Little did I know, this issue was merely the symptom of an even bigger issue.
During my time of prayer that day, God revealed to me an area of my heart that I was unaware of and needed tremendous healing. (I will speak to this particular issue in a future post if and when God leads me to.) God even showed me that social media, in and of itself was not the issue, but because I was subconsciously using it as a tool to fill this particular void in my heart, He needed me to log off.
Before I proceed with this post, I would like to share with you a profound truth that God reminded me of while writing this post. If you’ve also been seeking validation from external sources or feeling that your worth is determined by your performance or the approval of others, I would like you to grasp and accept these words from God as your own personal truth:
“I deemed you worthy when I sent my Son to die on the cross for you.”
It has been about a month, to date, since I’ve logged off of social media, and it has been a very fruitful season of my life. One of the benefits of being away from social media is that I’ve found myself more joyful and content, and I know that these positive feelings are directly correlated with me guarding my heart from the discontent that is caused by comparison and filling some of the time I use to spend on social media with time in God’s presence. I’ve also been filling this extra time with activities that bring personal fulfillment. Additionally, I’ve been more productive and have enjoyed the gift of simply being present.
Another significant benefit of not being consumed with social media is that God’s voice has been amplified in my life. By silencing the “noise” in my life and minimizing the voices of others, I’ve become better at discerning the voice of God and His will for my life. I’ve literally been taken aback at the number of times God has clearly spoken to me or provided an answer to a question that I’ve posed to Him during prayer. So often we find ourselves frustrated, because we feel that God is not speaking to us or answering our prayers; but this experience has been a great reminder that God is ALWAYS speaking, we simply fail to position ourselves to hear from Him — through prayer, worship, His Word, fasting, and silence — and/or we’ve allowed the voices of others to drown His out.
The last and, honestly, most difficult (yet rewarding) part of abstaining from social media has been allowing God to heal me in the area of my heart that I alluded to earlier. Naturally, when we think of someone experiencing healing, we think of someone becoming better. While this is true, healing often times doesn’t begin until the disease is removed; and this process of removal can be painful. This has been my personal experience on this journey of healing. The pain has come from having to wrestle with the negative emotions caused by past experiences (which have shaped my present reality), facing the ugly and hidden parts of my heart, and allowing God to prune me (John 15:2). While the journey has not been easy thus far, I know that the depth of my healing will be determined by the depth that I allow God to prune, refine, and transform me. Given the depth of my wound, I may be away from social media for a while; but I know that the sacrifice will be so worth it just as it’s already proven to be over the past month.
Your situation may not be as deep as mine. Perhaps your level of productivity could improve or your relationship with God and others could go to a deeper level by simply limiting the time you spend on social media. But for others, and perhaps many, I know that social media can be used to fill voids and cause feelings of insecurity, discontent, jealously, resentment, etc. If you fall into the latter group, I challenge and encourage you to take a step back and ask yourself, “Could this unhealthy relationship with social media be the symptom of a bigger issue?” If so, don’t deny it, don’t try to avoid it, and don’t try to mask it, because it will only create greater issues for you down the line. Simply embrace it and invite God to heal you and complete His best work in you.
Running this race with you,
Imanne